Love in any relation is sustained and driven by love for the other person’s soul – a soul, admittedly, that is embodied !!!
If ones goals and values is to establish a successful relation, then the next goal should be to make oneself a selfless mirror of the other persons wants.
To have an “I” worth living, my needs to acquire virtues,One cannot except to be loved without cause. People can be attracted to superficial qualities of other person (eg. Charm, Gaiety, Physique… etc.) but relation based on so little usually does not last.
One needs to acquire virtues which make one lovable. These are the same that make one fit to live successfully, some of these are:
Rationality: Taking reality and reason seriously.
Independence: Accepting the responsibility of using one’s own judgement and earning for one’s own living.
Honesty: Refusing to fake reality.
Integrity: Acting on one’s rational convictions.
Productivity: Producing the material values ones survival requires.
Justice: Judging other people in accordance with the facts.
Pride: Seeking one’s own moral perfection.
Purpose: Having a direction for one’s life.
Passion: Having strong values that are experienced emotionally.
Manners: respect for and politeness towards others.